


The Perfect Height

by The_Winter_Writer



Series: MCU Kink Bingo [24]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adorable Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, M/M, Magic, Married Loki/Tony Stark/Thor, Multi, Protective Loki, Sleepy Tony Stark, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, V-relationship, consort tony stark, loki is a little shit, mentioned smut, tony stark is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 00:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15740556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Winter_Writer/pseuds/The_Winter_Writer
Summary: Thor wasn't really sure why everyone in the kitchen was staring at Tony, half-asleep and tucked against Loki's side, until he realized that none of their teammates had actually seen Tony standing without shoes on.





	The Perfect Height

**Author's Note:**

> I really had every single opportunity to make this particular bingo square fill pure smut. However I decided to take it down a completely different path. One day I'm going to write a fic with these three and actual smut. I swear.
> 
> I'm also absolutely amused about where I got the title from. Don't worry...you'll see it.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Square filled** : I4 - Size Difference

Thor was sitting on a stool at the large island in the middle of the communal floor’s kitchen when Tony shuffled into the room. His hair was a messy, fluffy disaster. There was a fading pillow crease on his cheek, an obvious love bite at the base of his throat and it only took a glance to know he’d grabbed whatever clothing he could find.

The soft pants were Loki’s and the shirt, exposing Tony’s collarbone, was Thor’s.

Every eye in the room watched how Tony wandered slowly into the kitchen, blinking blurrily and yawning, as he headed towards the coffee machine. Unfortunately it was an empty coffee machine that Clint had finished off only moments before. A low, miserable whine escaped when Tony noticed it. “ _Coffee_?” it was a sad, miserable sound that tugged at Thor’s heart.

“Why is that adorable?” Clint sounded awed and disgusted at the same time.

Thor was silently pleased that he’d recognized that long ago. He started to stand up, to help Tony since their Consort was staring sadly at the coffee machine and pouting sleepily, when Loki stepped into the kitchen.

He looked smug and absolutely pleased with himself as he headed in Tony’s direction. It wasn’t a surprise. Thor had left the two of them in their shared bed, Loki wrapped around their Consort like an octopus, to train with Steve before breakfast.

It was more than clear he’d taken full advantage of having Tony to himself and burned through what little energy Tony would have had so early in the morning.

Loki breezed over towards Tony, tucking their Consort against his side, as he reached for Tony’s favorite mug and his magic started the coffee machine. It was a familiar sight only Thor was used to seeing it on their floor and not in the communal kitchen.

They were probably out of coffee.

“Has he…has he _always_ been that small?” Bucky asked as everyone continued to stare at the scene in front of them. Thor glanced around and took in the way everyone was staring in varying stages of surprise. He furrowed his brow trying to figure out _why_ they seemed so surprised at Tony’s height. A look down revealed bare feet and realization hit him.

He watched his brother look back at them with an unimpressed and defensive expression. “There is _nothing_ wrong with Anthony’s height.” There was a slight tilt to his chin, defiance and obvious protectiveness in every single line of his body. He wouldn’t be surprised if Loki took the two of them and the coffee machine back to the penthouse floor with a burst of magic.

“He didn’t say there was, brother.” Thor watched Loki fill Tony’s mug, mixing in the right amount of cream, before handing it to him. A soft, pleased little moan of enjoyment escaped as Tony leaned heavily into Loki’s side and clutched the mug in his hands. “I don’t believe they have seen Tony without shoes.”

Immediately every single pair of eyes looked at Tony’s bare feet peeking out from where Loki’s borrowed pants were folded up so they didn’t drag terribly.

“You know…this _is_ the first time I’ve seen him without shoes on.” Natasha stared at Tony’s feet and then up at Loki and their shared Consort with consideration. “Huh.”

Tony ignored all of them, finishing off his first mug and then holding it out in expectation for Loki to fix him another cup. Fond affection filled Loki’s green eyes as he filled it, added cream and handed it back.

Once that was finished Loki immediately turned to start preparing his own drink, a spiced Alfheim tea he summoned with a wave of his hand, while Tony leaned into him and drank his second cup at a slower pace.

Thor didn’t hesitate to stand from his seat, he knew that neither of them could be bothered to make breakfast for themselves, as he headed towards them. A kiss was pressed to the top of Tony’s head as Thor moved past and started collecting the ingredients to make them something to eat.

“How does that work?” Clint muttered. “They’re fucking _giants_ and Tony is just…he’s _smol_.”

“Did you seriously just say _smol_?” Natasha sounded vaguely appalled and Thor could practically hear the shrug Clint had given in response. “You should stay away from Urban Dictionary.”

“It’s two _tols_ and a _smol_ , Tasha _._ ”

The sound of Clint getting smacked had Loki smirking and Thor trying not to laugh as he mixed the batter for pancakes. They both had a sweet tooth and it was easier to indulge them. He could hear Steve reprimanding Natasha for using violence and Clint for provoking her.

Bruce muttered something about the horrors of Urban Dictionary.

“I’m not _smol_.”

“Oh, Anthony.”

Tony looked up at Loki, still holding his mug, with an unfairly adorable pout. They _had_ kept him up all night and Loki had probably used up whatever energy sleep had given back after Thor had left the room. “No more sex for you, Frost _bite_.”

It earned him an arched brow. Over at the table there were several groans and mumbled complaints about their sex life.

“You never stick to that threat.”

“Brother…”

Immediately big brown eyes turned to him, wide and shining, as Thor tried to steel himself against whatever might come out of Tony’s mouth next. “Thor…tell them I’m not _smol_.” Thor swallowed.

It would be a lie.

Their Consort _was_ as small and adorable as he was fiery and intelligent. He would be lying horribly if he validated Tony’s request but it was also their Consort. Loki looked at him with pure amusement at his current predicament. There would be no help there but he wasn’t surprised.

Tony was trying to appeal to him and Loki _knew_ Thor had been backed into a corner he couldn’t quite escape.

“Do you want blueberry or chocolate chip pancakes?”

It was complete avoidance but Tony’s attention was momentarily diverted as he moved closer, still holding his coffee, to stare at the options. Thor was silently thankful that after accepting and eating one of Idunn’s Apples Tony had gained an impressive appetite or that ploy wouldn’t have worked.

“Coward.” Loki muttered into his tea. Thor was very tempted to revert back to their childhood and stick his tongue out. He resisted. Barely.

“Blueberry.” Tony popped a couple into his mouth, a pleased hum escaping as he chewed, before Thor mixed them in and pushed the bag of chocolate chips in Tony’s direction. Tony threw some back and held the bag towards Loki.

His brother merely switched the hand holding his cup and reached into the bag. The amusement never left his eyes.

“This is disgustingly domestic. I think I might puke.”

Thor could practically count down the seconds before Clint was smacked again.

Twice.

“My Tower, my husbands, my disgustingly domestic choices.” Tony idly flipped Clint off and let Loki take his mug for another refill. “If _someone_ hadn’t dragged my Thunder God out of bed at an unnatural time of the day then we’d still be on the penthouse floor but _no_. Crazy blondes have to get up early and beat the shit out of each other.”

That explained _why_ they had ventured down to the communal floor. He hadn’t immediately gone back upstairs like he usually did. Bruce had drawn him into a conversation in the elevator and Thor had been sure they were still asleep so the need to hurry hadn’t occurred to him.

Loki snorted, “If the good Captain wants to tempt Thor from the bed I’m more than happy to keep you occupied by myself, Anthony.” The tone was beyond suggestive.

“I feel nauseous, Tasha.”

“Poor baby.”

Thor felt Tony resting his chin on his arm, watching him cook, while Loki fixed another mug of coffee and poured himself another cup of tea.

“I’m still not _smol_.” The sentence was muttered petulantly.

“You’re _tiny_.” Clint tossed back.

He could practically feel the mischief filling his brother and had a very good idea of what Loki was going to say when Tony started muttering about _stupid birds_.

“Anthony isn’t _tiny_.” Tony perked up at those words, “He _is_ , however, the perfect height to pick up and fuck against the window.” The horrified sound that escaped Clint and the protesting complaints about _too much information_ had Thor laughing.

“I’m the perfect height for all kinds of things.”

“Holding between two gods and fucking at the same time.” Loki added with glee, “The perfect height for pinning down and draping myself over.”

“The perfect height to _kick your ass Birdbrain_.”

“…to kneel in front of me…”

“…to set fire to your bow and arrows.”

“I’m going to fling myself off the Tower.”

“Don’t let me stop you.”

“…to tie up with…”

“Why god _why_?”

“Which god? There are two in here, Merida. Or did you mean: _why gods why_?”

“You’re _smol_ and _evil_ , Stark”

The stack of pancakes continued to grow as threats, insults and sexual positions were flung through the air. He could see the resignation on Steve’s face, increasing horror and disgust on Clint’s and amusement on everyone else’s.

Tony was casually rewarding Loki for each creative suggestion with chocolate chips.

He carried the stacks of pancakes towards the empty places at the island, watched Tony and Loki take their seats, all the while Loki was getting increasingly graphic and Tony was _preening_.

“I’m pretty sure _that_ is actually illegal.” Natasha sounded impressed when Loki finished detailing his most recent sexual act. “Probably illegal everywhere.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I didn’t know you had it in you, Tony.”

“I didn’t…I had two Norse Gods in me.”

Another series of groans.

“How Thor puts up with the two of you I’ll never know. He’s clearly the only sane one.” Clint looked grateful. Thor _almost_ felt bad for the one he’d been saving the entire time he’d been cooking.

Loki glanced up at him, lips twitching, as Tony reached for the syrup. “The perfect height to ride Mjolnir.”

“Oh. My. _God_.”

Tony choked on the bite of pancake he’d been attempting to swallow. A dash of green magic and Tony was swallowing without trouble.

“ _Smol_ and kinky as fuck.” was Natasha's added contribution only seconds later.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to go a fun, lighter path with this and I couldn't resist having someone call Tony Stark _smol_. I also loved the thought that the Avengers have never noticed that Tony is actually shorter than they realized. While Tony _has_ been without shoes around them, he kicks them off during movie nights, they have never actually seen him standing next to Thor or Loki without them on and it's very obvious that without his shoes he's lost a few inches height-wise. 
> 
> Hence this idea was born. A barefoot Tony standing next to his quite obviously giant husbands. Ah height difference. It's such a lovely thing.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you thought!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://the-winter-writer.tumblr.com)


End file.
